Three Days

Sorry I haven’t written a post in a while, but I have been away from a computer for almost a week. I came on tonight reluctantly due to my overworked mind and body to blog about my current situation.

I spent three very beautiful days with my boyfriend Joe this past week. It was planned but very poorly so. The idea was to spend some time together during my three day vacation, but it ended up turing into a marathon run towards what would seem like my hand in marriage.

It started off great with an early start with him mom and sister on Christmas morning. Then things turned for the worse. When his grandparents arrived, we realized that after three weeks we hadn’t learned enough about each other to really feel comfortable in the situation we were in. I felt invisible really. Not that I was not interacting, because I would never just not speak. I actually just couldn’t seem to connect with the people that meant so much to Joe, because him and I don’t really mean that much to each other. I’m not saying we don’t care about each other. I just think that we are still only in the exciting stage of an early relationship.

Basically things just started to get too fast and then they got even faster. The rest of the day was spent talking about it all, and then I had to spend the next two days with him and his friends. I loved it. Seriously I had a great time relaxing and enjoying the conversations. I just couldn’t stand that Joe and I were not spending the time we had expected to be spending together. It really ate away at me the last day. I couldn’t seem to get it out of my mind and on top of that all, there’s more.

The last night before I was dropped off and had to say goodbye, we all went to a tarot/palm reader. It was amazing for me. I was told the most beautiful things and I believed her. She told me what I wanted to hear about, without me saying one word. The only thing I didn’t want to hear was what Joe heard; We were not meant to be together.

I wish he would have stopped to say: no I think this is a good thing. I wish I could have taken a moment to talk to him more. I wish we hadn’t spent that last night together, because now everything feels off. Everything feels naked inside. I just don’t know what to believe and I definitely have gained a bit of self doubt. Everything is just up in the air now. We decided to continue the relationship, but in a slower manner. I miss him so much and now I’m afraid to tell him. I want it to be like before when I could just miss him and go on with my life. Now when I think of him I get worried. I don’t want to go through the process of losing another boyfriend.

I’m going to wait and be patient. That’s all I have. I just have had a few days to gather my thoughts and its going to settle down inside, but for now this is my way of settling down.

Peace

Random Recording

I decided to make a christmas present for Joe. Here’s my horse-throat half-assed recording/version of “Hey There Delilah”!

Peace

Download Hey There Joseppi

To Gerry

A friend of mine died this week. Tonight was his funeral mass. I only knew him through the Schola Cantorum. He was a genuine man and I really enjoyed having him sing with me in the choir. He always helped me organize my music and had a way of making me laugh. I wanted to make this entry and dedicate it to him. This is for you Gerry. May you rest in peace.

Food, Drink, and Music

Today was a great day…except for trekking through a snow storm to sing for church at 8 in the morning. I got home and got to spend the entire day with my friends Bonnie and Lisa as well as Bonnie’s sister Rob and her Girlfriend Bianca. Lisa made me brunch (poached eggs) and we also jammed for a good hour. Later the five of us wet out to run errands for the party this evening at Bonnie’s place.

The dinner party was very awesome. There was amazing food and drinks as well as a jam session with Guitar, Bass, and Piano. We did a few sing-alongs and just all hung out. Here are some pics.

Most of the night I missed Joe. I really wish he was here to meet my friends. It’s been hard these last couple of days trying to not focus on him. I’m falling for him. It’s really weird how it feels inside. I wish I could explain it. I wanted to write him a million songs tonight and serenade him to bed. Now I’m off to bed with his thoughts to carry me through the night.

Peace.

The Big Surprise

I awoke on Friday morning with the sad realization that I never made it to NH to go see Joe. Luckily to my surprise after I awoke, his sister and room-mate called me. They had somehow got my number and called me. With very little convincing I decided to take a chance to surprise Joe by visiting him in NH on his birthday.

I left on the train at 11:40 and when I got into Boston Jess was unaware that I was arriving and did not come until an hour later. Although the time was very well spent walking around Chinatown.

After breaking Rita’s car door handle and a nice three-way conversation on our trip to NH, we met with Joe and friends in Dover. The day was great. We got some food and came back to the apartment for some alone time before we left again to go to the UNH Dance Showcase. This was my favorite part of the evening, because I never get to see dance shows.

After the showcase we spent some time time delaying Joe from going home at the bar. A few drinks later we were back at his house for the big party. I must say I am in love with Joe’s friends. I met so many amazing people and I can’t wait to see them all again sometime. I felt blessed to have met them all on the same night.

Joe’s and my time spent together was short lived, but it was lived up to the fullest. I am so excited for our next adventure together.

Peace

My Tootsies Are Freezing

Today did not go as expected.

I woke up early, made eggs, got on a bus, and went to work with the expectation that by tonight I would be in NH. It so happens that today was the beginning of what we New Englanders call a Nah’ Eastah’.

It started at 11 AM and it didn’t stop until after 9 PM.

We closed Pastiche early (after I had realized I would not be going to NH) and I made my way by foot to find Bonnie who was stuck in traffic trying to get to me. Bonnie didn’t even blink after I had asked her to pick me up from work. I should have realized that traffic had reached a level of pure insanity and no longer was anyone able to move. After I left the store I found her car about a mile up the rode sitting in traffic. With a bit of help and a few times getting out of the car to push others on their way, we got home.

I was determined to get drunk because I was pretty upset the way things had been going, so the two of us went to the closest bar.

I was pleasently surprised that the locals at the bar were very comfortable with us and our conversation. One guy named John, was very boisterous and entered the establishment saying how cold his tootsies were. I decided after talking with him briefly, to offer my wool socks to him. I was very glad he accepted the offer.

It was really nice to see that after all the time spent coming home in the shit storm, I could still find people who were willing to help others. I felt as though the community around me was coming together. Whether it was because they had nothing better to do or because they were just plain nice, I don’t care. I really enjoyed witnessing the amazing display of community either way.

If it wasn’t for you Bonnie I would have had to walk and would have missed this amazing opportunity to help others and be a part of something outside myself. Thank you for everything. You really are amazing!

Peace

A New Day Is Dawning

I hope to awaken to a light
Shewn round about me.
Hope, Love, and Compassion
From which there will be.

Ne’er will I see it fade
From sight or from mind,
Because it is you
That makes it shine.

I’ll travel far
From home and places cold.
But that light will still shine
And your love will enfold.

Coming back to this place
Whence I saw your face
For from it I read
When it dawned upon my bed.

Blessed Is This Life

I had the most amazing weekend this week…

Saturday evening I found myself enjoying another musical event at the VMA in providence. I happened to be asked to attend Handel’s Messiah. It was an amazing experience. I have sung many of the choruses in the Oratorio, but this was the first time I was able to watch it in it’s entirety. Thank you Brian for the most wonderful invitation.

Sunday morning started the same as usual with morning rehearsal and service. After mass I went home to my best friend/housemate Bonnie. We spent the next few hours running errands. During that time I bought a guitar!!! Here’s a picture!

After our adventure at an open house, I went home and left with just enough time to take a quick nap and leave for an indian music concert. The concert was amazing! I must say that I was moved on so many levels by the music of the Veela. If you would like more information feel free to ask and I will send some to you.

Today was even more amazing than the rest because I got invited to go see The Christmas Carol at Trinity Rep. Jeff invited me last minute because he scored some tickets from a co-worker of his. This was Trinity’s best! I felt like a kid again. I was also touched by all the love that the show portrayed.

I came home tonight ans enjoyed a bit of pumpkin pie with Bonnie. Here’s a couple of pics.

I am so blessed to have her and to have all the experiences in my life. I feel like I could ride this wave of good fortune forever.

Peace

My Revolution

I’ve wanted for some time now to start a revolution. I really don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I’m going to change this country. I was told during Thanksgiving that I should start with what I’m good at. Well I’m good at speaking up and I’m good at writing music. I thought a lot about writing an album this winter and every time I start thinking about a new song I get reminded of all the sadness in my life in relation to my past boyfriends. This is an unproductive start to writing an album. There’s plenty of music out there for people to sit and wallow in, but I want to get people on their feet and motivate them to change the world around them. I think we have gained a lot of fear for change and will not face the consequences when it comes down to it, but I’d rather know that I had something to do with it than not. Anyone want to join?

The Awaited Arrival

Saturday was a very long day. I started with my usual eight hour shift at Pastiche. When I got home I had about 10 minutes to rest before I was off again to meet my friend Brett for dinner. We were joined by two of his friends and after dinner the four of us made our way to see the RI Philharmonic. I was in the nose bleed section, but the ticket was free so I can’t complain! The performance was wonderful especially the piano soloist Orli Shaham. The best of the night was only yet to come. Like I said I had been anticipating my next meeting with Joe and when he finally arrived saturday night I was happy to have him for the next few days.

I woke up Sunday only to leave early for church (if you go to the link you can see me in a few of the pictures) and stay all day until 7:30 at which point I got to go back home and wait once more for Joe to arrive. We stayed up a bit later Sunday evening because we did not have to get up until 9:00.

The next morning we both rushed to go Rock Climbing at the RI Rock Gym. Later we walked around downcity and eventually made our way to Reflections Cafe for some tea and backgammon. If the day wasn’t perfect enough as it was we also went to the Pastiche Christmas party at the Trinity Brew House.

The last few days were great, especially since I got to spend them with Joe. I’m sorry to all the people who I didn’t communicate with during the that time. I was very preoccupied and I couldn’t find any time to take for myself. I’m glad to have you all in my life.

Peace

p.s. I have been recording again now that my time is more plentiful. Keep checking for more updates on my music!!!